How freaked out am I? Pretty damn. Some of this may be rehashing but it’s kind of what I’m going through so you’ll just have to deal with it.

I spent Derby Day nearly sick to my stomach with excitement. I realized throughout the day that I hadn’t been this excited since 1988. That year (if I haven’t already told you and don’t mind if I repeat myself) I had picked Winning Colors to win the Kentucky Derby– in about February. I was going to school at the Kentucky Horse Park in a program they once called Kentucky Equine Institute. Pretty much everyone made fun of me for picking that filly. (Except my friend Kim – thanks!) My basis for picking her? She was impressive and she was by *Caro (Ire) – loved him. I also was a D. Wayne Lukas fan and a Eugene Klein fan. I loved watching Mr. Klein – who probably had the money to do whatever he wanted – get so excited about winning any races. Every time I saw him on TV he was overjoyed with a win – even if it could have become old hat at that level. Nowadays – you hardly see that with the big money men anymore. It’s almost expected and then I even get the impression of unappreciated (comparatively) and entitled or deserved.

I finished the KEI program and was getting ready to head back to my hometown of Bloomfield, NM. That’s a long drive for a 100 lb. 18-year-old boy first time away from home. My Dad flew out to visit that weekend and make the drive back. He wanted to leave Saturday morning, uh – that’s Derby Day. I was in shock. I said – but Winning Colors? Hello – and you love Forty Niner. Thought you would want to watch? He gave in – pretty easy.

We drove around and bought a Daily Racing Form – and sat on the wee little bed/couch in my studio apartment, to watch on my 19” TV (no cable – just antenna – I know right?)
Back then – you saw maybe the turf stakes before the Derby on TV and maybe a replay of the Oaks from the day before. The build up for me was excruciating. Not in a bad way – but just like a little kid waiting for Santa to show up. Remember that feeling?

They finally broke from the gate – and you know the outcome – but what you don’t know is that my Dad and I sat in that little room cheering and screaming for our horses. His favorite stallion ever was Mr. Prospector – always wishing for a son of his to stand in NM. He was pretty much a quiet man – didn’t show a lot of excitement. Usually just a little bit of “come on – insert name”  and that’s about it. I only saw him really jump up and yell 4 times that I can remember. Forty Niner in the Derby (2nd), Tank’s Prospect in the Preakness (1st) and my filly – Whathaveyoudoneforme (both of her wins in NM). The latter 2 times may have been the most he ever cheered. Then with each win – a grab of my shoulder and a kind of “we did it” move with his arm.

As Winning Colors stayed in the lead and Forty Niner made his move – our voices got louder and the slapping of our own hands and the pounding on the sort of sitting apparatus became stronger. Never have I felt so much excitement for a horse I had never met. Winning Colors won with Forty Niner in 2nd. I was vindicated and beyond excited. I wondered if I ever would feel that again – outside of maybe my own horse. Obviously my own horse would be a MUCH bigger moment in my life.

The 2 wins by my filly at San Juan Downs – were better. She was born in 1988 – a Quarter Horse that I nicknamed Nasty. Trained by Pat Swan and ridden by Tomey Jean Swan. Two finer people I’ve never met. Two finer horsemen I’ve never met. Nasty won once at 2 and once at 3 for me. Most likely 2 of the best days of my life. I’m not lessening other events – I’m building up the wins by a filly I bred, raced, and loved. Every time she ran I would nearly puke. My Dad said – “you’ll never be able to handle owning a Thoroughbred then – because you hold your breath and get sick before.” My Mom said – “why do it if you don’t get that excited every time?” I love that quote.

Man I miss my Dad today.

Let’s fast forward to Derby Day 2009. I wrote all the above that I’ve mentioned before because I wanted you to feel what I’m feeling. As you know I haven’t been “feeling it” for my favorite world for a while. So not being able to sleep Friday night and getting up 2 hours earlier than planned started the day of nerves for me. The week had been so great, buying a new house on Thursday evening after spending the morning at Churchill. Seeing the Derby and Oaks horses gallop, meeting up with old and new friends and then meeting Chip Woolley.

Oaks Day – my handicapping was on but I only cashed for about $75. I always do a 3 horse exacta box and take those 3 horses and box in a trifecta. Then my favorite of the 3 I bet across the board. I had lots of Friday winners – my across the board horses however were off more than on the board. Torture. All that was kind of forgotten when Rachel Alexandra raced by herself in the Oaks. I haven’t been that impressed and overwhelmed by a victory since Landaluce. That’s kind of a long time ago.

All day long I was sick to my stomach – not in an actual I need a doctor or Pepto way but in a my nerves are shot and I’m just on the couch at home way. I handicapped 10 races on the card. By Derby time – I had 8 across the board bets to cash from the previous races. I hadn’t hit a single exotic. I had Chocolate Candy and Mine That Bird across ($5 each btw) for the Derby.

I watched the stupid questions asked by Kenny Rice to Chip Woolley. Are people from Kentucky that haven’t ever lived outside of here – that ignorant? I watched Kenny almost trip Chip on the walk over. I listened to the comments all day long about Mine That Bird. Not a one – said anything about the fact that he was a champion last year. Probably because they didn’t even know. Because they didn’t consider him – so they didn’t research him – or their research teams are just way lacking in follow through (probably that one).

I tuned to ESPN once and they showed Eight Belles body on the track from last year – pissed me off. Not smart enough to just discuss without the images? I know they prefer to shock because they can’t really tell a story without. Drama is much like sex – it sells – but not for me – well not drama. I went back to the coverage from WLEX18 in Lexington – they did the best coverage overall – including when it switched to the larger NBC. WLEX was educated and intelligent about the Derby field. It was a pleasure to watch.

They were off! I was no longer on the couch. I was standing up and saw that Mine That Bird was so far behind the last horse. My heart sunk and I was thinking – shit – I don’t want that to happen. People will knock NM and all involved. The race call was horrid because Tom Durkin – though often great – tries to build and put on a show – but forgets that there is a field of horses – not just a handful of mentionables. I lost Chocolate Candy in the mud. I didn’t ever hear Mine That Bird again – and wondered if he was gonna close.

I saw him shoot through the hole on the rail – and didn’t right off know it was him. Mud. Then I saw the pink on the 8 saddle cloth. I screamed to Desmond “oh my God it’s Mine That Bird.” I don’t think I quit screaming his name and jumping and slapping my hands. Tears were rolling down my face – finally Tom Durkin noticed there was a horse 4 lengths ahead of Pioneerof the Nile (who I threw out – funny). That little horse was rolling. I couldn’t think – couldn’t realize – couldn’t stop crying.

He won. Not only did he win but he kicked their asses. No it wasn’t Rachel Alexandra’s 20 ¼ lengths but it was bigger than Barbaro’s impressive Derby victory. I called Beth – who met Chip with me on Thursday. A lot of Oh My Goshes later – I had to call my sister Crystal. My texts were blowing up, my Facebook status comments were piling up, even had some tweets on Twitter. My sisters were at National Scrap Booking Day (I know but that’s their thing). Crystal answered and I couldn’t talk because I was crying. I said “Crystal? He won!!” with my shaky voice as my little sister, Vickie, text me asking if Chip’s horse had won. He had.

Crystal’s husband Charlie had just called her telling her he won – she wasn’t sure he was telling the truth because he likes to pull her leg a little. But she said he was so excited that she thought maybe he wasn’t joking. My sister’s get it even though they aren’t in the horse world at all - they know how much something like this means to someone like me – but it’s kind of incomprehensible to people outside the business, I believe.

My friend Jeni Ellis, who Chip trained one of her fillies to a 10 length victory a couple of years ago sent me a message that the crowd at SunRay Park (formerly San Juan Downs - near Bloomfield, NM) was on its feet cheering.  

It amazes me how the media can’t fathom that someone can win the Derby without being from Kentucky, or by racing in NM. They couldn’t recognize that the horse is a Champion, that there’s more to it than buying an expensive yearling or 30. They weren’t smart enough to realize that hmmm, if the horse ran in Canada for different owners that paid the original $9,500 price at Fasig-Tipton October, that he might (being a Graded Stakes winner and Champion in Canada) have cost a little bit more than that when the new owners bought him (for $400,000). He hasn’t been a $9,500 horse since he broke his maiden for $62.5k.

Are they really that untalented at their own jobs – that they can’t find more than just motorcycle accident and long haul from NM in a truck and trailer? Does anyone realize that most horses travel in trailers of some sort? Yeah – I’m sure Pioneerof the Nile came via plane – as many probably did – but seriously it’s a stupid question. Stupid. And it’s been asked.

The gentleman that owns Buena Suerte in Roswell, NM (co-owner of Mine That Bird) has been in the horse business longer than most people I know in the Thoroughbred business. I think it’s funny that people act like they are new to the game. I think it’s funny for Baffert to comment that he just got beat by a Quarter Horse trainer – when he was first and foremost a Quarter Horse trainer (as was Lukas).

I honestly believe that the racings gods slapped us down last year because we needed some reality checks. It will take some time to clean up the damage done by the greedy. It will take longer to improve the mess created by the non-horseman. But I do believe that things had to get ugly on a national scale – so that maybe someone would get their shit together. Maybe now with a little gelding that knocked the block off the big guys and a filly that took us back to a decade when horses were shockingly brilliant – we will begin to regain popularity and respect. It will not happen because someone bought a $5 million horse – that is important to keep people in business – but it’s not going to do anything for anyone who doesn’t have a $5 million horse to sale. It also doesn’t do anything for the image of our sport/industry – because the outsiders and the non-understanders see us as just greedy people who use animals to gain wealth.

Most of us know differently – but all of us need to recognize and be wiser about our choices.

I love horse racing again – it took 24 hours to really make me feel something again. I haven’t had emotion like this about the Derby in 21 years. I haven’t dreamed it possible for me to ever have a Derby horse in about as long. Thanks to Mine That Bird, Chip Woolley, Calvin Borel, Double Eagle Ranch and Buena Suerte Equine - I believe in it all again.